Tangled Up in Blue

More Joy Dare Gifts

2012-02-09T20:14:00.001-05:00

Gifts this week from Outside, Red Things, Broken, Fixed and Thrifted, and Surprises!

#16 - Sunshine & warmth in February

#18 - Beautiful bare trees glowing in golden sunset

#19 - Freedom we are blessed to have

#20 - Yummy tomatoes in my salad

#21 - Liquid energy (at least psychologically)

#22 - Subtle reminders

#25 - 2nd hand clothes - the exciting new feeling without the spending guilt

#27 - Date with good friend planned

#28 - Feeling better and having energy

#29 - Feeling skinny in my new corduroys

Joy Dare Day 3-5

2012-02-05T14:24:00.000-05:00

Personal insight and affirmation
(found in writing)

Cold water in the frig
(found while bent down)

Unexpected gifts & meeting new people
(something woven)

Reminder of how rich I am
and that I can bless those less fortunate
(something hammered)

Unique talents of others
(something stitched)

Day 1 & 2 of the Joy Dare

2012-02-02T20:58:00.001-05:00

Day 1 - Gifts at 11:30am, 2:30pm and 6:30pm

I was excited to see what gifts I could uncover this day. Just before 11:30 Kelly and I were discussing how each of us would keep track of our gifts. I realized it was a gift to have her to share this journey with each day.

Finding a gift in some easy conversation with a friend whom I had been feeling distant from, which helped some depths thaw.

And on my drive home from work, a solution was found for a difficult situation.

Day 2 - Overhearing gifts

When you are looking for and waiting for certain kinds of gifts, it may be harder to see them. Today's gifts were hard. Most of what I overhear during the day is work-stuff and most of it is either neutral or negative. What I do overhear is people trying to help other people and offer an experience that is professional and knowledgeable. No automated menus to go in circles through - but people who generally like what they do. It is a gift to work with people like that.

I also found out today that JD was asked by Compassion Intl. in Colorado to write an article for them as they have gotten wind of how awesome a sponsor and advocate she is. She was so excited it. Seeing her obedience and dedication bringing blessings makes me so proud to be her friend.

While I haven't "overheard" a third gift yet (the day's not quite over) I discovered that when you are on a search for a certain type of gift that is harder to find, you stumble across many more that don't fit the category but are worth acknowledging all the same. I have good hearing that allows me to listen for blessings. I have wonderful friends to spend my working days with and technology at my fingertips to help the customers I speak with, just to name a few.

seeking jewels of joy...

The Joy Dare

2012-02-01T10:19:00.001-05:00

So far it’s been a gracious winter. Yesterday it was sunnyand a spring-like 50+ degrees. Once again I am chasing the fading light on myevening drive instead of racing the moon. Yet, sometime the winter dark daysare harder to thaw on the inside where the frost goes deep.

So then…

I’ve decided to participate in the Joy Dare for the month ofFebruary. Actively seeking and anticipating daily gifts is like throwing openthe shutters to let that sunlight stream in and warm the frozen places. Thegifts are always there, but I don’t always take the time to acknowledge them.

My friend, Kelly is joining me in doing this. As we shareour captured gifts, our daily joy will double. I hope you will take thisjourney with me. Some days I will share my gifts with words and others withphotos. This is a re-discovery of joy and creativity.

Standing at the starting line.

Ready to run with joy…

Great!

2012-01-17T19:26:00.003-05:00

The ants have moved back into my bathroom. Where do they come from??? And why do they keep choosing my bathroom every year?

Oh and these ants... they are apparently great swimmers. My several attempts to simply send them down the sink drain seems to just give them a nice little ride around in the basin which I am sure afterword they look up at me and say in their ant voice, which I can't hear... cause I'm not insane yet, "That was fun, can we do it again, please?"

It's time to get the big bug man with his killer bait to come and rid my bathroom of these buggers.

Sorry ants, but if you would just stay out of my living space, your life might have lasted longer.

A West Coast New Year

2012-01-04T20:47:00.002-05:00

Usually the thought of meeting a group of people I don't know and staying at a stranger's house makes me anxious. As I prepared for my trip to Washington state to spend New Year's with Stephen and his family I didn't feel nervous at all. I hadn't been to Washington before so I was excited about being able to cross that state off my list. When I arrived I was so warmly welcomed it was as if I had always just been around (sorta).

Spectacularly, in a city known for it's cloudy, rainy weather I seemed to have brought the sunshine with me. Other than the day I arrived, we had no rain and beautiful sunshine.

I didn't take many photos except when we spent the day in Seattle. Stephen had bought City Passes as a surprise. After he, his mom and dad cooked up an elaborate, stick to your bones breakfast we headed out. Our day started at the Space Needle and the Experience Music Project Museum.

If I ever get lost in Seattle - I decided I will simply find this car wash and stay there until someone finds me

From there we drove down to the waterfront for a picnic lunch in the car (it was decent weather for December, but still chilly). After lunch we took a harbor cruise. Now I don't want to brag (but I am) but I stayed outside on the deck for the whole hour cruise while Stephen stepped inside twice to get warm. Ok... in his defense I did have on more layers than him and a warmer coat. We finished up the evening at the aquarium.

Mt. Rainier

The aquarium was really nice. We watched them feed the octopus, which was a whopping 50 lbs! And the feeding of the sea otters which was fun. The last piece they even shared. I've been to many aquariums and it amazes me that I can still find things I've never seen before. God's creativity is never exhausted.

On New Year's day, we played games. Stephen's brother and his family came over for some Bananagrams and Apples to Apples fun. I'm not sure whether the fruit theme had any significance...

It was during the intensely competitive game of Apples to Apples that just how much I had assimilated right in. Questioning a choice that was about to be made - as it wasn't my card that was about to be picked, Stephen's mom looked over at me and said, "Would you just shut up!" Stephen's 10 yr old niece was mortified that her grandma would tell me to shut up. She replied, "Oh she knows me." And we all had a really good laugh about it. We continued to laugh and enjoy many more moments through the rest of the game.

Stephen and his parents

All too soon it was time to fly home. As I reflected on the weekend and how well it went, I was encouraged by how far I have come in just being able to enjoy people and let them get to know me. That was a great way to end one year and begin another.

When Christmas Becomes Something Else

2011-12-23T18:09:00.000-05:00

Sitting at my desk on Wednesday morning, my cell phone rings. It's my dad calling. He's not one to usually call me, especially when I am at work, but he'd called a couple time in the last few weeks for little things. So I answered it non-chalantly.

Grandpa had a stroke this morning. I'm on my way up there now.

I get what few details my dad has and silently begin praying. Almost more for my grandma than my grandpa. Weren't my dad and I just talking about what would happen to the other once one was gone? Then I went on working for the day, waiting to hear further news.

Later that evening, I spoke with my dad again. Grandpa was doing fairly well. He couldn't speak other than "yep" and movement on his right side was very limited. Plans were being adjusted to take care of my grandparents. But those plans would mean I wouldn't see my dad for Christmas. My sister wasn't coming home anyway. So it looked like it was going to be just my mom and I this year.

The weight of not feeling a part of a family was weighing heavy. No one really seemed to understand that sometimes this is hard for me. I didn't want to be selfish about it, but it didn't change the disappointment.

But God...

He knows. He is the one who created us to be in families, as crazy as they can be at times.

My dad called today and asked if I would come up tomorrow to celebrate Christmas and my sister would come down. We would surprise my grandparents for a short visit, as I need to be back on Christmas day to see my mom. It would be hard to be with my grandma and all the emotions she is going through and seeing my grandpa in a hospital bed - but they would be surrounded by family. They would know they are still loved and not forgotten about just because they are old(er). That's what Christmas is supposed to be about. Gifts and trees and cookies aren't what is important - LOVE IS!

Then....

My dad called again. They may be releasing my grandpa from the hospital tomorrow. It has already been decided that he will enter a rehab center downhere so the whole family can be close by for him and my grandma.

So, I don't know yet whether I will be driving up north in the morning or waiting for them to come down here. Either way - Life is here and it travels with Hope and Love.

Merry Christmas!

Being in the Christmas Story

2011-12-15T13:39:00.000-05:00

Last night I attended The Story concert. (A brief background if you haven't heard of The Story yet. Max Lucado and Randy Fraize wrote a book. Nicole Nordeman wrote songs for the bible characters highlighted. And many amazing artists lent their voice to each song. I highly recommend this CD. It's one of my favorites of the whole year.)

So then.... last night I was sitting there, transported to another world by the music and multimedia artistry, watching the greatest story unfold once again before me.

My heart found rest in the simplicity amidst the enormity of the story.

Isn't Christmas really that simple. God loved. God sent. God saved. Did we think we could make it better by complicating it?

A few years ago I attended a Christmas Eve service. Typically, these end with a room full of beautiful candlelight and the softly sung Silent Night. It's a skin-tingling, heart filling experience each and every time and one of my favorite things about church at Christmas. But this particular service ended differently. The stage was set with the stable and empty manger. The songs were sung and the message of our gifts had been delivered. The moment came when the Savior, baby yet king, was placed in the manger.

While over 2000 years ago it was smelly shepherds and the wealthy wise who came, aren't we who still seek Him, also wandering shepherds and star gazing dreamers?

Then, just as they were that night and ever since, the invitation came to come to the place where He lay and kneel before him to lay our gifts at His feet. We are invited right into the Christmas story. I slowly walked up to the stage and found myself there on my knees, tears of joy filling my eyes. There was nothing special about the church or the props - but Jesus is special. Stripping away everything except worshiping Him is the peace and joy of Christmas. Feel the weightless wonder of that moment entering history. The rest gets left behind.

Leave the complicated. Leave even the candles and the carols. Come see the baby lying in a manger.

You are a part of the story.

It is that simple.

Completely Random

2011-12-11T17:53:00.001-05:00

I don't really have anything profound to write about tonight, but felt like writing something. So here we go...

Christmas:
I used to love Christmas. I loved finding perfect gifts for those I love (and trying to not go bankrupt in the process). I would do a little decorating and sitting at night with just the colored tree lights would bring a sense of awe and calm. I loved wrapping gifts while favorite Christmas tunes played. It all added to my proverbial Christmas spirit. Lately it's been harder to find that. The family gift giving has become routine - get small lists from family and proceed to get exactly what is on the list with maybe just one small surprise element. It's not a totally bad setup, I do get the shopping done much quicker, but it takes some of the joy and surprise out of it for me. And without my sister home, Christmas is a bit boring. But still, I put up the tree this year and did the shopping (most of it anyway). Tonight I plugged in the tree, had a holiday concert on the TV while I cooked dinner and somehow that spirit found it's way in. Boy am I glad because I really would hate to miss Christmas.

Perspective:
I got to meet my dad's new girlfriend this morning. (How come we don't have a word like womanfriend? It just sounds so much more adultish.) She was very nice and interested in the trip to Ghana. Usually, my dad and I are there about an hour. The first 15-20 minutes we eat and then we chat for a bit. This morning we were there an hour and a half and I still only managed to eat half my breakfast because I was talking so much.

At one point I was rambling on about how I try to be careful with my money, especially in light of what I have experienced overseas. I said, "Do I really need to spend $70 on a pair of jeans or will a pair from the Salvation Army do just fine?" She akwardly chuckled and said, "I think I would have a different answer than you about that... I justify my spending by telling myself I am helping people have a job." To which I responded, "I am helping the people at the Salvation Army keep their jobs too." This brief exchange challenged me a little. For a brief moment, I judged her and her $70 plus jeans and red leather jacket without knowing anything else. She may have other ways in which she strives to make her difference in the world. Perhaps others may look at me and make similar judgements based solely on what they see and their perspective.

It was a good reminder to be a little more mindful that we all are in different places with different perspectives and I'm simply to love them.

Choosing to see (some more):
This past week I have been doing some pretty intense self-examination. Whenever you hold God's mirror up, it can be a little hard to open your eyes and look. It's easier to convince myself to not look because I might not like what I see and changing might not be what I really want. What do we choose when what our hearts want isn't what God wants for our hearts? Obviously the right answer should be to choose God, but what about if we don't, or didn't? Getting back on God's path is always available, but we might have to hobble along with a limp for a bit until we heal. The narrow way is very narrow at times and squeezing through the really tight spots tends to scrape off a bit more of the world. The good news is that when we open our eyes and look, even if we aren't perfect yet, He is always looking back with eyes of love.

Once Upon a Time:
I love this show. I never watched Lost (maybe 1 episode) but I am hooked on this. Unlike Lost in which there were no boundaries for what could or couldn't happen, whether it was real or imagined, the writers here are bound by the fairytales themselves and yet have creatively reimagined some of the story details as to create a compelling retelling. With the characters trapped in the real world, there are hidden clues and hints in each episode and much still unknown about who and what and why and when that it's like being told a story and trying to figure out a puzzle at the same time. Exactly my kind of show. I will admit that I often get so caught up in the story I forget to pay attention to the details and often rely on what other people saw to clue me in and then I go back and watch the episode again.

Last Thoughts:
I've discovered more and more over the last couple months just how important quiet alone time is for me. Unfortunately, with my 10 hour a day customer service job and several hours of my evenings spent on the phone or computer I am finding it hard to make that time for myself and not feel bad about it when I do. Today, other than breakfast I had the day to myself and it felt restorative.

Hope that the joy of baby Jesus and the Christmas spirit abounds in your heart this December and into the new year.

Quiet Reflections

2011-12-04T13:36:00.001-05:00

After returning to work and all the intense processing of last week, I am trying to take some moments for quiet reflection. I want these lessons and images to soak deeply into my heart, not just a quick rain that runs off on a hard surface.

Yesterday, I put up my Christmas tree and nativity. With each ornament I remember who it came from, where I bought it, or what event in my lifetime it signified. Each one means I am loved and have had so many opportunites. But what if each ornament, each light, each branch represented someone who hasn't been loved or doesn't have any opportunity? What if they were welcomed into my home this holiday season? Would Christmas be different?

The baby Jesus I see now in the manager came for them too.

Lord, let me love like you love.

Ghana: Back in Accra

2011-12-01T18:30:00.000-05:00

Upon returning to Accra we were thankful to once again have running water. Ahhh… showers. We had gotten used to falling asleep with only a fan so we didn’t even use the AC even though it was available. We missed our new family at the Village of Life, but also excited to meet the kids at Teschie House who have also been rescued off the lake.

We arrived at Teschie just before the kids got home from school. We were able to help sort and put away the gifts we brought before they arrived. As the groups of kids came home, they came and greeted us, shaking our hands or hugging us before heading off to change out of their school uniforms. Once all the kids were there it was announced that we had brought new books for them. Wild celebration erupted as the kids grabbed books to look at or brought to us to read to them. After the new books were poured over they brought us others that were already on the shelf. One boy brought me a Pokemon paperback(not a book we brought) and asked me what it was. How does a person explain what pokemon are? “They are pocket monsters.” “Pocket monsters?” He stared at me like I had not made any sense. I settled for “made up animals.” When he took the book to JD outside, she read the whole thing to him. By the end, he was asleep on her lap.

Once the excitement of the books wore off, the Legos came out. A huge bucket of them dumped on the floor. One sweet girl began a ‘Lego store’ at my feet. She would take a handful of carefully selected blocks from the pile and bring them over to me where she proceeded to sort them into piles of like-shaped pieces. This was done meticulously, with the piles being adjusted each time a block was added. As the group of kids became more dispersed some of the boys began to take from the ‘Lego store’ while the little girl was away. Upon her return, she attempted to reclaim and reorganize her stash, but the boys would not leave. This smiley, bubbly little one simply shut down. She folded herself in half, tear-stained face to the floor. I reached down and tried to coax her up into my lap. She wasn’t going to budge. I garnered my strength and lifted her up in that folded position. When she sat up, wiped her tears. I told her I saw what the boys had done and it wasn’t nice of them. I tried to distract her by offering to see her bed and then tickled her. I wondered if things like that bring back memories of life on the islands – where anything that is yours could be taken away in a moment’s notice.

One particular boy seemed to latch on to me. He had a smile that lights up and eyes full of expectancy. After we had left for the day, I learned that he in particular was often picked on by the other kids for being a bit slower. When we returned to Teschie House again, he took great pride in carrying my camera bag for me and making sure it was protected. He had gotten a pair of sunglasses from somewhere and was hamming it up a bit wearing them. Some of the girls had removed my bandana to play with my hair, so I tied it on his head and told him he was a biker guy. Then I watched that boy literally strut around showing everybody how cool he was. The picked on one stood a little taller that day.

In our final days we took a little time for ourselves. One afternoon we went to the beach. Joshua made a friend and the two of them jumped in the waves while vendors showed us their artwork. I sat down on the sand and pulled out my guitar for an impromptu worship session. Joseph, a friend of our hosts for the day and worship leader at his church sat down to join me in singing. After finishing Here I Am to Worship, he requested we do that one again because he really liked it. Amazingly, the vendors stayed and listened. They told me how much they really liked it. Sitting on the beach in Africa, singing beautiful harmonies and playing guitar sent my happy meter well over 100. We followed that up with lunch at a local hotspot – Papaye’s for lemon garlic chicken like I’ve never experienced before. Mmmmm...

Another day we ventured out for some souvenirs. As someone who is not big on bargaining and pressured buying, this wasn’t my favorite experience. There were a few vendors who really stood out and they are the ones we most wanted to bless with our business. I did manage to find a few things for friends and family. It wasn’t until we returned in search of a missing baby Jesus for a nativity set that JD had purchased that I found something unique that summed up the experience for me.

Our final day, we fittingly started the day at church with friends and fellowship with them after at their house. And then after a farewell dinner with George Sr. and friends we headed to the airport 4 hours before our flight. And we needed most of those 4 hours. First think mosh pit and then a maze where every time you think you finally found the way out you realize you are just at the beginning of another one. Finally, we boarded the plane and easily fell asleep.

For more photos go here.

Start here to read JD’s account of the trip which includes our shopping adventures.

Ghana: Getting in the Boat

2011-11-30T19:00:00.000-05:00

When we left the island on Saturday, we were hopeful that when we returned on Monday one of the masters would be true to his word and release two of the children we had met. It is not uncommon to return for the children to find they have "disappeared" and been relocated to a different island.

The boat floated towards the shore where we had arranged to pick up the boy and girl. A man and woman were working nets in a boat, but the children were not there. For a moment, we all wondered if our fears had come true and once again we would head back empty handed. Then, down the path we see the master and the children approaching. Inside the boat we waited. We who know that inside the boat is freedom and hope for a future. Outside the boat they waited… not knowing for sure that inside this boat was any different from any other.

They have known enslavement. Now they have been emancipated.

Treated as slaves. Now they are the saved.

They did not choose but they have been chosen.

Haven’t I also been chosen by One who saves? Waiting, I wonder… how could I not see that my heart is enslaved? There places where I still stand outside the boat of freedom waiting. Could it be that those kids are freer than I am? Maybe today is emancipation day for me and them.

Meanwhile, information was provided by the master – names, ages, where the kids were from, how much he paid for them, parent’s names – as much as could be remembered.

Then he handed over one shopping bag containing all the possessions of both. It seemed like so little to call your own even for just 7 or 9 years.

When you are about to start a new life, a better life, why would you want to bring along burdens from the past anyway?

But we do. Often, we drag our slave chains into the boat of freedom with us and then wonder why the boat seems to be sinking.

The young boy climbed into the boat, quiet but seemingly calm just the way he was the day we met him working. The girl was lifted up and placed in waiting arms, tears streaming down her face. Many of us have been saved because someone else was willing to lift us up as well. Was she scared? Overwhelmed? Relieved? When was the last time she was held and her tears wiped away?

Small successes in a sea of slavery, but the angels rejoice over just one saved and here were two rescued. Yet, we weren’t leaving without trying again to rescue the boy who stood out.

The team went ashore, while I and another stayed behind on the boat with the children. While the others were once again touching and hugging as many kids as possible, I held onto her. I sang over her. I felt her body surrender to love and admit how weary it was.

Both of us, former slaves, quietly embracing salvation together.

It seemed quite some time passed before the team returned. Despite the entourage of children following them, the boy was not with them. This day would not bring freedom to him.

Leaving him hurt. Leaving him leaves a hole in me. Leaving him behind forces me to fight for freedom. His face my reminder that every child rescued is him. When the call comes that he has been lifted inside the boat, we the saved, will celebrate.

Sometimes stories don’t have the ending we hoped for but the ending we need.

Ghana: Choosing to See

2011-11-29T18:31:00.001-05:00

On our 3rd day in Kete Krachi we awoke early to head out on the lake for our first glimpse of the reality of modern day slavery. I wasn’t sure what to expect or how to feel. On one hand there was a sense of anticipation; this is what we had come to see for ourselves. At the same time, a sense of heaviness was also present.

We boarded the boat and began our journey on Lake Volta.

We had traveled all this way, but yet we still had a choice to make. When we shared with locals what our mission was in Ghana the typical reply was, “There is no slavery in Ghana.” They now have a choice to make.

We could pull up alongside boat and after boat and choose to close our eyes and withhold out of fear, anger, insecurity or denial.

Or…

Choose to really look, reach out, and offer love where it is absent and learn how to best make a difference.

We pull up. A boy in yellow shorts who is afraid to talk with us. Afraid of what might happen after we leave. I choose to see. To look into his eyes. I see hopelessness.

We pull up. Another boy in pink fleece pants. His body is rigid and his eyes full of fright. He recoils when a hand reaches out to touch him. How many times has that hand reached out to hurt him that he no longer knows touch can be healing? We give him some candy. Hopefully he did not pay for our kindness.

We came ashore on an island just behind another boat as we watched the children run from the boat and hide. They said they thought we were the police. Mud huts with thatch roofs, corn fields and fish net colored the landscape.

Children outnumbered the adults we saw about 10 to 1. The common lie of the slave masters, “These are my children” held about as much water as the sieve-like-boats they worked in.

Many of the children wore tattered clothes or none at all.

We smiled at the kids. Touched and hugged and held as many as possible. Tried to make them laugh even knowing it was so very fleeting. We handed out new shorts and dresses, praying the masters would let them keep this one thing and not take it from them, returning them to the rags.

Among a group of boys, one stood out. His skin was dirty, his eyes milky and vacant, and his hair turning color from malnutrition. Besides being clearly ill, it seemed as if he had relinquished his spirit.

To see that haunts you. Even if you choose to close your eyes from this point on, that look is seared to the back of your eyelids.

Justice and salvation doesn’t always happen in our timing and we had to move on, leaving him with a pair of shorts and our prayers for God’s protection. We moved on with the hope that there was still the possibility of rescuing other children who had been negotiated for over the last 6 months.

The boat ride back to Kete Krachi was quiet. We were weak from dehydration and lack of food - an infinitesimal connection to what these children endure daily. Who would dare complain? Yet we forget so fast when it’s no longer right in front of our eyes.

I felt sad. I felt pity. I felt guilty.

These children robbed of their innocence and joy were not just enslaved by men trying to survive by fishing but partly by me. By me… when I consume more than I need. By me… when I refuse to share my excess. By me… who lives in a land that tells the rest of the world they must do all they can to “get ahead” and “get more” for themselves.

But not anymore...

I chose to see.

I choose to change.

What is your choice?

Life in the Village

2011-11-27T15:50:00.001-05:00

As soon as we saw the blue and white buildings up on the hill, we knew we'd ~~survived~~ arrived at the Village of Life. Before we stopped there, we were taken through town to our accommodations - the Credit Union/Guesthouse.

Main Street

As we settled into our rooms - where we would call home for the next 5 nights - we realized that real African initiation was about to begin. No more running water and no AC. Still in the lap of luxury, we did have an indoor bathroom and the pails of water were hauled up the stairs for us. Scarily... I didn't even mind not showering for those days. It's part of what I love about being in Africa - the stripping away of all the things that seem important; where water is a privilege, not an requirement.

A few minutes later, we stepped onto the Village of Life property for our "welcoming ceremony." We sat outside and talked with George Sr. and George Jr. about the plans for the week ahead. We presented them with a few gifts we had brought for them. The best part... we met some of the kids.

Scenes from the Village of Life:

Siamese Goats?
(not really)

One boy was particularly special for JD. Several months before we arrived in Ghana we asked George a favor. If he came across a boy with a particular name, we would do whatever necessary to rescue him. As part of an Interpol raid, this young guy was brought to the Village of Life. He was so full of life. I can't even imagine his spirit being squelched by a life on the lake. He had the cutest laugh.

It was the teen girls who really stole our hearts. Most of our time was spent with them learning about them and from them. Currently, they are learning trades - sewing or hairdressing. In many ways they are like typical teenage girls - unsure of how they look, wishing they had a mirror to look in, and craving love while trying to act strong. Unlike many teenagers, they have already been through horrific life circumstances. Each of these girls were brave enough to share her story with us. Stories of being taken from home and not remembering where home was. When asked about a birthday, heads hung in shame as the answer "I don't know" was quietly whispered. Many of the girls talked about working hard to please the master only to be beaten anyway. Some quietly spoke of being raped. All told of being rescued by George and learning about the love of Jesus at the Village of Life. I asked one when she was on the island if she felt God had forgotten about her. She told me she didn't even know about God until she came to the Village of Life. It broke my heart to think of all the kids still enslaved who don't know that there is a God who cares about every wound and every tear.

I enjoyed making the girls our priority as I'm sure the younger kids often get most of the attention. There was also one teen boy who I spent several evenings talking with. He called me "madam Tia." While I taught him some guitar chords, he tried to teach me to juggle and whistle with my thumbs. I was horrible at both.

One of the main focuses of our visit was the new school building. We were able to tour the existing classrooms, see the students and meet the teachers.

The first several hundred bricks for the new school had been made. The building footprint was staked out for the sod-cutting ceremony (or as we called it - groundbreaking). The land was prayed for and blessed by a local priest. Using a pickax JD ~~attempted to~~ broke ground. Following the ceremony, the kids played drums and sang while a dance party broke out. I'm pretty sure I was the first one who joined in the dancing. It was hot and sweaty, but I know I was smiling and so were the kids. Meanwhile, JD who has pretty much vowed not to dance until Jesus comes back stayed toward the outside of the mosh pit.... but I'm betting she busted a little move.

One of the local dishes is fufu. It is made with boiled plantains and/or yams that are pounded into a pasty dough like substance. One night, we even got to take a turn making it and then try it. It tasted like a potato pancake, but the fish stew I had to dip it in grossed me out. But still... I tried it. Which was more than some people (Joshua).

Another local dish is grasscutter, which is a giant rat. JD, ever the food connoisseur, expressed to our hosts that she wanted to try it. The next day for lunch we were served something different. Little fried pieces of meat. Immediately, we all wondered if it was grasscutter. After tentatively trying it and finding the meat really tasty we continued to eat. Joshua would not touch it -just the thought of it grossed him out. I tried to convince him that it was likely not grasscutter (as I couldn't imagine liking it if it was) but still he would not budge. Finally we got him to eat one of the tiniest bites. In the end, it turned out it was simply beef. Poor Josh was bummed he missed out on lunch.

In the afternoons, we were brought back to our rooms for some downtime. We used this time to explore the town a little. Josh and I quickly found a store to buy cold Coca Cola. We visted this vendor daily for our fix. Down the road, we also found some fresh bread, which we ate with peanut butter. Mmmm...

We also discovered a community behind the Credit Union. While waiting for our ride back to the Village of Life one afternoon, we engaged with many of the children. We took photos of them and gave them a new soccer ball. I'm not sure the parents were as impressed with the obruni (white people) as several were yelling at the children and came to drag them away.

Not much goes on at the Village of Life in the evenings. One night, the boys hung a bat net on the dorm as they had been particularly damaging. Within a few minutes, there were several bats caught in the net. We were inside eating when the commotion all started. First Josh went out to see what was going on. He came running back in to get the camera. Quickly, the rest of us finished eating and went outside to join in the entertainment of bat stoning and running when one fell to the ground. Front row seats to a Discovery channel special on bats.

On Sunday, we attended church and sat with our teen girls. One of the first things I noticed was the painting of Jesus behind the stage. Blood was coming out of his heart, but they covered it up with a wall clock. That wasn't even working. Just a little weird.

The church was divided into 4 sections and all the men sat in one section together. Each section stood and sang a song. At another point, we got into a line and danced around like in a conga line. JD continued her anti-dance vow and sat out. The service lasted about 2 hours and other than what the girls explained to us, we had no idea what was being said. Towards the end, the girls began to try and read their English bibles to us. It was then that I realized that while they spoke English fairly decently, they were not able to read it well. Another reminder that these girls still had much to overcome in order to break out from this cycle of poverty.

I loved the different colorful
scarves these older woman wore

Our last night arrived with a closing ceremony of sorts. Just the way we started, sitting outside in a circle with George. The kids came and gathered round, singing us a song. The girls then presented us all with gift. The girls had made Joshua a shirt and placed a roll of fabric in my hand. They encouraged Joshua to try on his shirt immediately. They were delighted when it fit.

It wasn't until after the "ceremony" had ended and George had gone home that the girls asked us to try on our dresses. We hadn't even realized they had made us dresses. I think all of us were a little afraid to try them on. What if they didn't fit? As each piece was put on and fit, the girls errupted with squeals of delight. When all 3 of us were African-ly clad, a party broke out. We were amazed that they were able to create all of this in 4 days without even measuring us. I'm sure it was a huge boost to them in knowing their skills were improving.

For me... it was the best gift I could come home with. A gift of love from precious girls I had come to love.

The Road Less Traveled

2011-11-27T08:04:00.001-05:00

With less than 1 hour of sleep, we were on our way to Kete Krachi at 2am. Leaving that early hopefully would ensure us ample time to reach the ferry and get on it. Without complications, the drive takes about 6 hours. Luckily... this time we had no complications. At least as far as time went.

This road is less traveled for a very good reason. Just outside the greater Accra area the road became a mine field. Giant speedbumps every mile, potholes that could swallow the entire van, and frequent military and police checkpoints. Our driver was amazing at this navigation, but there is still only so much he could do.

For me it was even worse, as somehow I got stuck in the back of the van and I get motion sick (I did take dramamine). Debra and Josh were sound asleep in the first 2 rows so I had nowhere to go. Even if I had room to lie down and sleep it would have made me too sick. So for 6 hours I tried to find a balance of getting a little bit of sleep sitting up and staying awake to look out the window.

Well in time for the first ferry, we arrived at the lakeshore. Here we watched the morning market bustle about. Children in school uniforms getting breakfast. Other children doing chores and vendors opening up their shops.

Soon enough the ferry began to board. We were getting closer, but the ferry was filling up as well. Many large trucks with goods to transport and buses use the ferry to get across. But, we pulled into the 2nd to last spot. We were instructed to get out to go and pay for our tickets. I asked the lady how much and pointed to the van when I said 4 plus the driver. She told me to forget about the driver. We paid and got on board. A few minutes later our driver and the lady appear saying we didn't pay for the van. So I took care of that - but really, did she think we had a driver and not a vehicle!

Meanwhile a loud argument had broken out between a group of very strong looking men about who would get the last spot on the ferry. A truck tried to force it's way on, but it was too large. In the end a car was able to secure the spot.

The ferry ride was pleasant and only about a half hour. We were very thankfully for the reprieve from the bumpy road. While JD and stayed inside the van trying to take advantage of the time to get a little sleep, Debra ventured outside where she glady took on the role of marriage broker for this young woman selling bread. At one point I heard her say to the young man in question that he couldn't marry her because she makes more money than him.

Joshua was playing Mindcraft and a teenage Ghanian was watching. Josh invited him into the van and taught him how to play.

All to quickly, we were back on the road. We couldn't have imagined it being worse than what we just came from, but it was. The next two hours were like being inside a pinball machine. But when we finally reached The Village of Life, it was all worth it.

The bad part... we had to endure it all again when we left.

African Slurpee

2011-11-26T16:45:00.001-05:00

The vanilla was better

Ghana: Day 1 & 2 - Compassion Visits

2011-11-26T12:22:00.001-05:00

Early Monday morning we finally arrive in Accra. We rush off the plane toward immigration, where we still end up last in line. When my turn comes, the officer was cordial. All the fingerprints on my right hand were taken and then he asked for the other hand. I smiled and asked, "Is this in case I come back without a hand or some fingers? It doesn't sound promising." The offiver smiled back and told me to enjoy my time in Ghana. From that moment on it was non-stop...

We got our luggage off the one conveyor belt to find it was wet from all the humidity and headed through customs. We had piled the bigger suitcases on 2 carts. Everyone on the first cart was waved through but I was stopped to check my luggage tickets against the luggage on the cart. Except my stuff was on the other cart. After a moment to explain, he waved me on. Phew.

Our driver was waiting as the flight arrived an hour later than he had expected. He wisked us to the van and loaded us up to head to the first Compassion Center where JD would finally meet Ato Sam.

Word of advice: Make time to go to the bathroom before heading out into the middle of Nowhere, Ghana. I did not and I regreted it as it was probably like 10 hours until we were able to use one. (and there weren't woods to go in either. Just saying)

As we drove, we took in our first sights of Ghana.

After about a two hour drive, we arrived at the Compassion Center where we were treated like royalty and a whole program was put on for us.

As we were entering they were announcing "They are here.
They are coming!"

JD and Ato Sam

Toward the end of the program the children began to creep up on the stage. Once Debra and I let one climb on our lap, we were instantly surrounded with kids. Meanwhile the staff tried to get them to sit back down so the program could continue.

Soon we were on our way to visit some of the homes of the children and present them with the gifts we had brought. Additionally, the center hosted a soccer match between Ato Sam's center and the twins center. When the festivities had concluded, we loaded up and went to dinner. At dinner, JD had a little more one on one time with Ato Sam before having to say goodbye.

The next morning we headed to the first of two centers to visit. It was here we got a good look at how Compassion runs it's centers and the circuluum. We also were able to address many of the parents and be blessed in return by them.

The 2nd center of the day was where George and George are. This was one of my favorite experiences of the trip. I loved holding Kakra and seeing JD with Panyin. We learned that this center had only been in operation about 11 months. The difference from the first center was obvious. I know it will continue to improve with Compassion's assistance.

The twins are 6 years old but both are closer to the size of 3 year olds. In fact, holding a 5 month old on Thanksgiving, I noted that he felt heavier than Kakra.

Panyin and Kakra

In the beginning both of the boys were very shy. Panyin became more at ease first. I tried tickling Kakra. I tried seeing if he could snap his fingers. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Several times he just turned his head and stared into my eyes like I was supposed to know exactly what he was saying with them.

Finally, when I pulled the Curious George monkeys out, both of their eyes lit up and smiles were aplenty after that.

The whole family

As a special treat to us, since we didn't end up staying in Cape Coast due to the arrival plans all changing, Samuel (the compassion visit coordinator) took us there for dinner.

Elimina Castle

The first Coke

After finishing dinner, we headed back to to the capital in order to connect with our Touch a Life contacts.

Ensue next adventure...

We hadn't booked a place to stay for the night and hadn't had time to buy a cell phone to get in contact with anyone. We were left with our driver who spoke English but understood it far less. He was unfamiliar with any of the hotels we mentioned so we went to Plan B - take us somewhere with internet.

Sometimes is wiser to set more parameters.

The first place the driver took us did not have internet, but the second did. I'm sure the man smelled out slight desperation at this time and overcharged us and slightly misled us, but we didn't have much choice. I am fairly certain that white people DO NOT stay where we were dropped off. Debra was kissed in the lobby and they told us we could leave our luggage in the lobby. Apparently, they thought we were rich and stupid.

Let's just say it was an interesting night, most of which was just a great imaginative buildup in our own minds. But there were some unidentified stains on the bed...

In the morning after many emails and phone calls, our whereabouts were located and we were gratefully rescued. I couldn't take another minute of the horrible soap opera (dubbed in English) playing in the lobby.

"Tell me you love me."

"What? I can't hear you."

"Say it louder."

"Say what?"

"Tell me you love me."

Gag me.

Now we began to prepare for the trip to Kete Krachi and what we would see and experience there.

Ghana - The Beginning

2011-11-26T09:04:00.003-05:00

Like any mission trip, there were bound to be some problems... changes in plans and interesting adventures. It's just we expected them to be IN Africa - not the US.

Problems started when JD arrived at the airport to be told the ticket I paid for had been revoked for credit fraud and she would have to by a new ticket in order to board the plane.

Umm... WHAT!!!

Of course, she just pulled out her wallet and gave them the money in cash, cause it was just that easy. NOT! Time was running out and she in Portland was trying to get this taken care of as not going was not even an option. Meanwhile I was at the airport in Detroit trying to get things figured out as well.

Darn. I should have taken the Xanax already.

Amazingly, just in the nick of time and thankful for that running training, they were able to board the plane. And we thought the flight issues were out of the way...

Upon arriving in D.C. we learn that Debra's flight has been delayed due to a hydraulic part needing to be flown in. So Joshua, JD and I settle into the airport to wait and pray Debra makes it.

Just prior to boarding that night, Debra arrives. Now we are ready to get on our way. The airport is really empty this time of night and so we quietly board the plane. Everyone gets on and all the carry-on luggage is stored. Some people have already fallen asleep.

The dreaded announcement: Sorry, but we will be deboarding the plane as there is a problem with the hydraulic system. We will update you as soon as we can.

We all get off.

Flight postponed until 4pm the following day.

Vouchers in hand we all head down to catch the shuttle to our hotel. It's cold out and we are not dressed for this weather. We wait..... and wait...... and wait. Until there are only about 10 people left. The hotel shuttle came 2 times in 2 hours. While we waited we did make some friends with some very "friendly" Ghanian guys who all worked together. There is something about experiencing a common setback that brings people together.

Finally we arrive at the hotel only to discover that everyone who arrived before us still appeared to be in line. We walked down to the end, getting more frustrated and exhausted each minute. In an hour it seemed like we hadn't even moved.

The dreaded announcement: Sorry, folks, we are out of rooms. We will be taking you across the street to another hotel.

It is now about 2 a.m.

Joshua in the hotel lobby waiting for our rooms

By 3 a.m. we FINALLY were able to crawl into bed and sleep.

The next morning we worked on trying to communicate with our contacts in Ghana to rearrange the details and headed back to the airport. Praying we would leave this time.

At 5 p.m. on Sunday we finally took off and 10 hours later we landed in Ghana.

(to read JD's account of our trip visit here to read)

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T13:09:00.003-05:00

After a few days of processing and finding my way back into life in the US, I find myself being so much more thankful for all the blessings I have and the ways I was blessed in Africa.

Stories and photos from Ghana will be appearing here shortly!

Parable of the Lost Sons

2011-10-28T14:40:00.005-04:00

I’ve heard a lot of sermons, read a lot of books, and listened to many personal testimonies on the parable of the prodigal son. I’ve been taught about the father, the son and the older brother again and again. Sadly, I’ve gotten to a point where I tune out from listening because it feels like I’ve heard it all before (just an honest confession).

Yesterday, as I was driving into work a song came on the radio and about halfway through I realized it was this story. Something in it made me start to think and I realized that I’ve never heard anyone consider the relationship between the two brothers BEFORE the prodigal took off.

I am a first-born. Shocker, I know!

We “tend to be reliable, conscientious and perfectionists who don't like surprises. Although, firstborns are typically aggressive, many are also compliant people pleasers. They are model children who have a strong need for approval from anyone in charge.”

We want everybody to play by the rules.

Younger siblings tend to be potentially spoiled and given less responsibility. Often leaving the elder to feel the need to parent the younger.

Imagine with me back when these brothers were just young boys helping dad in the fields…

Day in and day out older brother, we’ll call him Sam, is asked by dad to look after his baby brother, whom we’ll name Ben. He’s given the chores he and his brother need to get done before they head in for supper. Day in and day out Sam strives to finish everything on the list, while Ben spends half the day playing instead of working. Sam so wants his father’s approval that sometimes he even finishes up Ben’s chores too. Inevitably, at the end of the day, dad says nothing of consequence – at least nothing of the praise Sam feels he deserves. And after supper, dad takes Ben on his lap while they share a moment with Sam off to the side.

Let’s go back a little further…

Sam is the pride and joy of his father as the first-born son. Dad is thrilled that the family lineage will carry on. He plays with him, pulls him up on his lap and begins to teach Sam all he knows. As Sam gets older, he wants to be respected as a man and pushes his father’s affections away. Every day he raises the bar for himself a little higher, waiting for his dad to take notice. He is desperate to prove himself and sees this as the way to achieve his father’s love. It’s the only place he’s looking for it.

In order to understand the end, it helps to know the beginning. Our reactions and emotions are not static and instant; they are connected and influenced to all our previous emotions and experiences.

Now we get to the story in Luke 15…

See, while Sam loved Ben, he also began to feel burdened by him. He felt replaced and less loved by dad because of Ben. So when Ben asked for the money and ran, Sam was first enraged that once again Ben broke the rules and he would have to pick up the slack. Then he felt relieved. Perhaps with Ben gone, he could once again have the attention of his father.

But he still didn’t get what he wanted. He only saw dad watching day in and day out for Ben to come home…

The father loved both his sons, each for their differences. He was proud of Sam and his hard work, but he couldn’t seem to help him understand that his love wasn’t conditional on the amount of work. After years of being pushed away, he gave Sam the space he seemed to want. And Ben… he knew there was a recklessness about him. While he didn’t want to let his son go, he hoped and prayed the experience would help him grow up without too much pain and heartache. He also prayed that by letting Ben go, Sam might see the freedom love brings releasing him from his self made prison. After a long day of watching the road for Ben and turning around to watch for Sam, he goes in each night feeling the loss of both his sons.

Sam just doesn’t understand that he’s built walls that keep him from receiving dad’s love. They also keep him from experiencing joy, and intimacy, and grace.

Then the day comes when Ben comes home.

Sam wants justice. He wants dad to play by the rules, but just like Ben… he bends them. Dad offers love and forgiveness. While it rattles the walls around Sam’s heart, it doesn’t break through. Instead his pride lets loose.

“The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Sam is screaming, “I wanted to be loved, too, Dad.” And dad says, “You have been. You are. You are loved with everything I have but you just couldn’t accept it.”

That’s where Jesus ends the story.

We don’t know if Sam ever understood the extent of the father’s love. We don’t know if he went into Ben’s room later that night and whispered into his ear while he was sleeping, “I’m glad you’re home little bro.”

If it didn’t…

You can bet the father waited with hope every day for him to come home, too.

What really has value?

2011-10-22T14:41:00.007-04:00

Plane ticket to Ghana........... $1,400
Cost of a school building...... $30,000
Increase in faith ................... Priceless

When JD first told me she believed we could raise the $30,000 for the school, I was absolutely sure she had lost her mind. I believed God could do it, I just didn't believe he would do it through me. I had a laundry list of reasons why we would come up short.

I don't know enough people.
It's a bad economy.
We have no way to prove that we are legitmate.
I'm not a good sales person.
and on and on...

Then somewhere along the way, I began to see the vision she saw. I was desperate to see God work though the two of us, who soon became three. I prayed earnestly for God to build the school and knew even if we didn't reach our goal before we left, we would continue until it was complete. After breakthrough often comes battle.

As the months went on and the numbers seemed to be at a stand still, I once again began to doubt. "See... I knew we couldn't do it." I felt let down by God. I trusted Him. I believed in His ability and even though we had sucessful raise 12% (still a large amount by any standards) I still saw it as disappointment.

Then He blew my socks right off! In one minute, the school went from 12% to 46%. And with only a couple weeks left, we discovered that if we could simply get to 50% another organization would match our funds and be able to oversee the construction of the school. Voila! The school funds were raised. My doubt once again put to shame.

God could have easily brought people together to raise all that money without me. He could have given us all the money in the first month or two when I was riding the high of trust and big dreams for him. But he didn't. I believe it's because He always focuses on what really has value for his children.

Does he want the children of Lake Volta to have a school? Absolutely. But what is more valuable is not a building that will eventually crumble, but a faith that is stretched and built with incorruptible materials. He wanted to teach me to never see a situation as hopeless, that even when things appear to be failing it can turn around in an instant if I just wait patiently on Him.

God's plan was always about my faith and never about the money or the school. In the end, it's a larger, deeper blessing for me and His African kids.

Withdrawl

2011-10-22T12:44:00.003-04:00

In preparation for spending 2 weeks in Africa where a trip to the gas station or vending machine for my daily fix of diet coke isn't very likely, I decided to go ahead and quit now. I have no desire to be struggling through caffeine withdrawl headaches while in Africa. Not only will this help in Ghana, but is just better for me in general to severly cut back on the amount of pop I drink and increase my water intake.

So... started this journey on Tuesday. It went well as did Wednesday. Yes, I had a little headache, but work kept me distracted. Thursday was a little worse. My head hurt, I was tired and the day seemed to drag. But I still didn't drink any.

In addition to this sacrifice, I also gave up any chocolate and changed my schedule to make sure I am healthy and well-rested before traveling. All these changes at the same time are hard to adjust to.

After 4 whole days without a diet coke (it's been a long time since i've gone that long) I caved and bought 1 for today.

No... I don't feel guilty. I am relearning the art of moderation. I'll enjoy it while I'm drinking it as a special treat. Once this bottle is empty, I will try going 5 days.

What is Alaska?

2011-10-20T07:06:00.002-04:00

Back in June I visited Alaska for the first time. Upon returning, I shared this news with my sponsor children. Apparently, I did not do a good job of explaining this or something got lost in translation as I recieved a funny letter from Meena in India.

She said:

I would like to know what Alaska is and is it kept at home? Is it dangerous animal?

At least I know what to write about in my next letter!

To Build a School

2011-10-18T08:49:00.002-04:00

Today we officially reached 100% of the fund raising for the school in Ghana. JD had the honor of accepting the finish line crossing donation this morning. Here are her words:

I just arrived home from going to the Glen Falls school here in Saint John... one of the poorest schools in our city... where the children, led by their awesome teacher (a woman from my church), pledged to raise 1% of our goal. When someone from the community heard about their initiative, they offered to match whatever they raised up to $300 (also 1%).

As you know, we were currently at 98%...

Were. Past tense.

The Glen Falls school kids were honored and thrilled to help us reach across the finish line this morning... we are now officially at 100%!!!

We still need a few more donations to cover our in-country travel expenses, but are confident that God will continue to provide as He will finish what he has begun.

The great slave master

2011-10-16T16:12:00.004-04:00

Thoughout this year, I have been learning about issues of human trafficking and child slavery. An issue that barely registered in my life before. As I share the realities and the hope we are trying to bring with people I come in contact with daily, I find that they too are shocked to know that slavery still exists. Some simply say, "I didn't know about that. I don't think I could do what you are doing." For others the sense of injustice rises. As I was explaining how the children are negotiated for to the nice man who was driving me from the dealership to Enterprise for a rental car, he became quite affected. He said, "I'd do some negotating, all right!!"

Yesterday as I was reading, I saw the bigger picture.

There are millions of children being forced into labor slavery and it breaks my heart.
There are millions of women and children trapped in a sex slavery and it makes me sick.
People are beginning to rise up and fight for these nameless, forgotten and used ones. As we should.

But what about the grandma whose been left with 5 grandchildren and must continue to work long hours each day to get just enough food to keep them all alive another day?

Or the single parent who works 2 jobs to feed and keep the kids in school in hopes of changing their future?

What about the 10 yr old who can't go to school because she must walk miles to fetch water each day and work in the fields with her family?

What about the 12 year old who is now the only caretaker of the younger siblings and now must dig through garbage to eat each day?

Aren't they also slaves? Slaves to poverty.

Poverty is the great global slave master.

It works you to the bone, leaves you with nothing for your efforts, and beats you down continually. Your children are born into the same condition. Escape seems impossible and death often a welcome relief.

While you sit somewhere comfortable, reading this on your computer I am pleading with you to consider that you can make a difference. You might not be able or willing to come face to face with a child trapped on a lake, or a slave master who you know beats that child -but you CAN do SOMETHING somewhere.

Make the choice of sponsoring a child and you might just be preventing another child from being sold as a slave. You never know what that child has the potential to become.

You never know what will change in you.

Thank you to everyone who does their something. Thank you for being a part of this jouney to Ghana with us. As the final weeks wind down, we are a mere $400 away from reaching our goal. This is only the beginning...

Zoo-bilee

2011-10-12T19:39:00.010-04:00

On Sunday, I got to go to the Toledo Zoo with 2 of my favorite boys. It was a perfect day with cute animals, lots of laughter, and even ice cream!

This photo was actually taken on an earlier trip, but I liked it so much I wanted to add it.

Someone let the lion out of it's cage

The cutest baaaaaaby elephant - Lucas

Austin & I

Austin & homie tortoise

This one is for you Tiff

It's just a catfish, Kevin not a sea monster

THIS is a sea monster. Beauty sleep much?

Monkey see

African penguins

who doesn't love the penguins?

Every little girl loves her teddy bear

Every bear loves his little girl

Shortly after this photo was taken the bear on the right lunged and the one on the left clearly being submissive took off running. It was pretty spectacular to watch.

Nice Llama...

Don't let the owl bite you, Kev

More cute baaaaaaaby photos

and to top the day off... a baby giraffe too

Paint Tia Pink Wrap-Up

2011-10-07T19:04:00.007-04:00

I survived the pink! And was a good sport even for this photo.

The night before the race it rained, but race morning the weather was PERFECT. Only sleeping about 2 hours... not perfect. I did show up with my pink shoes, pink fingernails and pink shirt for the occasion.

Tiff we missed you though....

This was a little past the halfway point of the race. No I don't run with my arms splayed like that. At the turn, they had music blaring "Throw your hands in the air..." My hands were either going up or down after my little dance moment for the camera.

At the finish line... see the tutus I was spared from in the background?

Despite having just run 13.1 miles, we took the train into the city and walked through Central Park searching for my bridge. (which we only found by accident after we gave up looking

It was a great weekend. Thank you to everyone who donated for a total of $1400 raised. Additionally, we have GREAT NEWS!!

Since the chip-in counter on the blog only reflects donations made through paypal we have an additional $10,000 that was donated through the Interlink account.

That puts us at 50% of the school raised with less than a month to go.

With your help we can still get this school completed as we sprint towards this finish line.

Mirror, Mirror

2011-09-30T09:00:00.002-04:00

To my mirror self,
You are sometimes deceiving and sometimes gracious. How can you ever be trusted? There was a time when you seemed to be constantly cruel to my fragile esteem. Either you have changed or I have changed… or both of us have. Thank you for allowing me to see the beauty in me and leaving me enough humility to still know it even when you don’t show it to me.

Unspoken

2011-09-29T07:56:00.000-04:00

You have been one of my closest friends for many years and yet lately there have been important things happening in my life that I have kept from you. I can tell you sense that gap, but aren’t quite sure what to make of it. My fear in telling you is not that you won’t continue to be my friend, love me and encourage me, but that you won’t understand and it will frustrate us both. Sometimes I have a hard time even looking you in the eyes for fear you might figure it all out and bluntly ask me. Even then, I’m not sure I would be able to speak the truth but you would know. You know me too well.

She's a Butterfly

2011-09-28T11:46:00.000-04:00

I tried to come up with someone else to write this letter to. I had several possibilities, but even second place seemed to be far cry from the impact you’ve had on my life. (Well, technically Jesus is at the very top but He gets letters from me every day) The way we found each other seems miraculous. How we’ve managed to become so close, so quickly, even living a thousand miles apart is amazing too. You brought hope and love into my life when it was fading. You boost my confidence, challenge my comfortability, serve me humility when needed (often) and are a living example of faith. Because of you , I am returning to Africa where I believe I will once again be changed.

Airplane Friends

2011-09-27T12:17:00.001-04:00

Sometimes sitting by yourself on an airplane isn’t fun and usually I just keep to myself and bury my face in a book. I was supposed to be sitting next to my dad, but since my sister had missed her earlier flight and spent all day in the airport and got on our flight standby to fly the rest of the way home in the morning (deep breath) I agreed to take her seat alone and let her sit with my dad. I don’t know how or why I ended up explaining all this to you. Maybe we were just discussing the delays at the airport that seemed to have no reason. Then we continued on to talk about the trips we were headed home from and you even shared the snacks you had packed with me. I figured that part was God’s blessing for being willing to sit by myself. Anyways, thanks for ending a long, stressful day on a good note.

Promises, Promises

2011-09-26T11:17:00.000-04:00

I don’t know that we ever made any of our promises official “pinky promises,” we were more of the “cross my heart hope to die stick a needle in my eye” type. (ahhh… maybe that’s when it started….) Kidding aside, those days seem like they belong to a different person; the memories more like a dream than my past reality. Those hopeful promises of being friends forever and not sharing secrets… well turns out we were good at keeping our promises.

A time to heal

2011-09-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

I heard about your news from a friend. I can’t imagine the mental adjustment you have had to face. As the physical begins to change and finding a new normal takes its course, I will be praying for you. Praying for your health, and your family… but also that this would be a catalyst for reconciliation and healing in damaged relationships. You will need to rely on others a bit more now. I know you are in God’s hands and they will carry you through this time.

Clicky-hugs

2011-09-24T08:55:00.001-04:00

My sweet El-bell…

My heart smiles when I remember days of your exuberant whistles, seeming smile, and freckled belly. So many fun moments of joy were spent with you. My favorite ones were the quiet moments. The times when it was my job to keep your lively spirit quiet without boring and losing your interest. I would try and count the freckles on your belly and you would pretend to laugh. I would lie across the tank wall, like we were both sunbathing and sing. Your 2 favorites seemed to be ‘You are my Sunshine’ and ‘Over the Rainbow.’ As I sang, you would quietly whistle along. One of the senior trainers even commented to me one day that she had never seen anything like that. It was our special thing. The best though was being rewarded with one of your infamous clicky-hugs.

A Kiss is just a Kiss

2011-09-23T13:02:00.001-04:00

You were a surprise in my life at a time when I needed God to give me hope. He gave me so much more than just hope. These last few months have been filled with getting to know each other, deep conversation, prayer, and much laughter (oh and a little kissing). I love your knowledge of scripture and your heart for people. I am fascinated by your nuisances and easy-going personality. I know I can be stubborn and frustrating at times. These last few weeks and probably the next couple as well haven’t given us much time to talk, but the little ways we connect are just as important. Even though I don’t verbal express it often, I enjoy having you in my life. I am looking forward to what the future holds for us. And yes… I know you are crazy about me!

Second Chances

2011-09-22T10:39:00.000-04:00

You tried, Jen. I know you tried, but we were both very insecure and desperate to try and find solid ground to stand and something firm to hold onto. Instead we grabbed onto each other’s brokenness. As different as we were we both tried to deal using control and self-abuse. It’s sad that we couldn’t recognize this in each other. Things between us did not end well. Things were said and feelings greatly damaged as we took whatever ammo we could find and hurled it. I saw you again several years later at a party. We were cordial, but spoke only briefly. I remember how unhappy you still looked and the stinging of my heart. I know I’ve done a lot of growing up and changing over the last 25 years. We could have had a friendship that lasted through all those years if we had known better. If I had the chance now, I would hold onto the things that made us friends and like to build a new friendship from that foundation. I hope you know I’ve forgiven you, and forgiven me and I pray you are healthy and happy.

Spazzy Mazzy

2011-09-21T14:34:00.001-04:00

My first impression of you left me wanting to walk to the housing office and beg to be given a different room. But instead, I was simply grateful that you weren’t my roommate. You were loud, obnoxious, and suffocating just in the first half-hour and it didn’t seem to get any better from there. You appeared to have no consideration for anyone at all. I wanted to hide from you but it rarely worked. Over time… quite a bit of time actually… I began to feel differently about you. What I came to find out is that you have an amazing ability to love, despite it being over bearing at times. When no one else thought to help make sure the little things in my life were taken care of – you did. You made sure I knew that someone cared. You spent the night at the hospital with me looking over my mom (and even talked me into being a little silly and ride chairs down the hallway). So glad that the first impression wasn’t my last.

Heartache

2011-09-20T08:37:00.003-04:00

Broken hearts are hard to heal. There is no band-aid you can slap on it and wait a day or two while the wound recovers. Too often the scars are carried for life, and sometimes those scars have names and sometimes they just are nameless faces and statistics. To the millions of orphaned children in Africa, you have broken my heart but you have strengthened my spirit. While I weep for your tender faces, your tiny frames, your hungry bellies, and your forgotten existence, I pray that the God who knows your name will carve them as scars on my heart so that I may carry you with me. Out of my broken heart I will use my words for you that others’ hearts may be broken also. As long as even 1 of you is alone and scared, my heart cannot and must not heal.

Liar, Liar pants on fire

2011-09-19T15:44:00.001-04:00

I get really sick of you, you know. I really don’t need your help to remind me of all the things I shoulda/woulda/coulda done. Nor do I need you to point out the ways I’ve disobeyed God. Sometimes you go so far to plant these lies in my head that sound so believable that I begin to believe them. You are nothing more than a liar and thief and I want you outta my head. Take your eviction notice and beat it – this brain belongs to the author of Truth.

Hero

2011-09-19T15:43:00.000-04:00

Dear brave one,

You believe with such abandoned faith that even the darkest of circumstances don’t dampen your spirits. You live so sure of the Father’s love and good care, whereas I must continually struggle to push aside fears and doubts. While I crave control, you throw caution to the wind and follow the slightest whisper of Him who knows your every step regardless of the outcome and the chance you might look foolish. You aren’t afraid to try anything even if you might fail. Oh… how you love… you love with no concern for yourself, expecting nothing in return. Your love is open to blessings and hurt because you know the Healer will care for any wounds you may sustain. I wish I were more like you.

Elementary School Love

2011-09-17T11:44:00.003-04:00

Mr. Duffy… ahhh. I thought I loved you in 2^nd grade. I already knew then that I would fall for smart guys. I know back then I might have journaled that I wanted to marry you, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t really know what I was saying. I really just wanted your attention and to please you. Having you encourage me just made me want to do even better. I’m sorry that I disappointed you when I brought in that fake note from my mom. I felt so embarrassed when you called me into the hallway to ask me about it and I lied, even though I knew you already knew the truth. I still remember how right before lunchtime you would always tell us a joke. Looking back now, they weren’t even good jokes. But I still remember how one day I figured out or already knew the punch line and so I said it. I figured you were extra proud of me that day. I hope you know what a great teacher you were.

My heart's in Africa

2011-09-16T16:14:00.000-04:00

My heart was captured by you the first time I heard you sing. You with the beautiful face, angelic voice and deep hurt in your eyes. I loved Africa because I loved you, Khanysile. I saw the way the other girls looked up to you, but you were somewhat apart from the group. When I came back the following year, it was a joy to see such life in your eyes. I saw your passion for worship, how you learned a whole CD in a day and sang your heart out dancing around the dorm. It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 10 years since I’ve seen you. I pray that adulthood has been kinder to you than your childhood. I pray you will use your voice to sing healing into the hearts of the hurting. Soon I will be headed back to Africa to spend time once again with kids just like you were. I will once again try and bridge the gap through music, a universal language. In that way, I will feel you close. Keep singing to Jesus, beautiful one.

Missing you

2011-09-15T11:35:00.001-04:00

Most of the people that I miss when I really start to think about it, I’ve moved on from. Even though I miss the memories and the time we’ve had, it doesn’t necessarily mean I want to see them and be a part of their life now. That isn’t the case with the two of you. Aaron and Abi, you are such a part of the fabric of who I became and my desire to someday be a mother.

In the years since you’ve no longer been a daily part of my life, you’ve grown up, found new talents and passions, and even struggled through some very hard things. Throughout the silent years, I missed you – I want you to know that and never doubt it. Every birthday I thought of you and on so many more occasions as well. Some days it even made me cry, but how do you explain the loss of children that aren’t really yours.

I’m glad for the chance to reconnect with you; for us to have another sunset date sharing memories while creating new ones, Abi. And to reach out and have you open up and share you heart with me, Aaron. Still, the physical distance and the circumstances of life won’t give me back the closeness I once had and always miss.

An ocean apart

2011-09-14T10:45:00.001-04:00

Dear Gideon,

I hope you are happy and still pursuing your dream of becoming a doctor. I know how gifted and determined you were. I hope you are seeing and understanding more of God’s hand in your life. Your strength, mind and heart in His hands will accomplish many mighty miraculous things.

Last time I heard from you, you were possibly getting married but I couldn’t tell if it was something you really wanted or not. Either way, I pray you are content. I have no idea if you are still in the States or Cameroon. I think of you often, especially now as I am soon to be headed to West Africa, a place I thought I would have first visited with you. I pray your mother’s health is holding up and your sister’s baby is growing up healthy and well cared for. The season of friendship you gave me was truly a gift and I am thankful to God for crossing our paths and I pray he crosses them again someday.

Saying You're Sorry

2011-09-13T14:07:00.000-04:00

So far I’ve had no problem knowing exactly who to write my daily letter to; sometimes even having to choose. Today I sat and thought about forgiveness and broken bridges in my life and no one is coming to mind. There have been times in the past when names would have come to mind, but gratefully God has allowed me to make amends and even restore some of those relationships. As I get older, I am more aware of how important communication is and owning up to your part in any relational rift quickly and therefore I am more likely to try and make amends. Despite my contrite efforts, I cannot make someone forgive if they choose to hold onto the hurt. Perhaps, it is even an unintentional, unknown offense. I also know I am not perfect and I have hurt many people in my life.

To anyone I may not have had the opportunity to apologize to, I am sorry that I hurt you and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Go Away!

2011-09-12T09:24:00.001-04:00

You. It’s always been you, the one who has the power to hurt me the most. From the very beginning you had such high expectations of me. I strived so hard to meet every single one. Sometimes I succeeded, but not always and I when I didn’t I felt like a failure. You made choices at times that left not only deep emotional scars but sometimes even physical ones. I thought I was free from your trap, but every now and again I turn a corner and feel you around me like a phantom cobweb. You will always be a part of my past, but I don’t want you to be a part of my present or future. Your negativity and unreasonable demands are not wanted. Forgiveness is a process and I’ve been in it for a while with you and most days there is much healing. There was a time I would have said I hated you, but I’ve come to accept you and even love you. Oh, there are days I still get angry with you and days I want to change you but I can’t. Only God can and I know He is. One day you’ll be just a gentle reminder of what I left behind and how far I have come.

Samatha & Sparrow

2011-09-11T14:23:00.001-04:00

Your mommy misses you and always carries you in her heart. While I wasn’t blessed to have seen you or hold you in my arms, I have been blessed to hold you in my heart – helping your mommy to carry a sorrow that was too heavy for her to carry alone any longer. Even in your death, you brought healing to two weary souls – one grieving for her loss and the other for what she had not yet found. Your existence is known and the legacy your love has left will be passed on. One day, on the other side I will hug you and hold you and thank you for your gift.

Lau

2011-09-10T13:01:00.000-04:00

There were days when I would count the minutes till I could see you and talk to you. I would often know without words that you needed to talk, even when you fought it. There were months when I would eagerly check the mailbox for love from you and quickly respond with all my thoughts and feelings unfiltered. We gave each other a safe place to be ourselves. Time has a way of speeding up, and other things come and take up our time. I’m so glad that we still are in touch, but I wish we were much more a part of each other’s lives. I don’t know when you might need a friend to reach out anymore and I miss you.

Passport Through Darkness

2011-09-10T12:50:00.001-04:00

Mrs. Smith, I recently was given your book to read and it altered me. It took a lot of courage to write your story and not take out the harder parts. You could have simply written about the journey that led you to the Sudan. You could have shared the mission journey you experienced being there and shared the stories of those who shared with you without ever delving into your personal struggles. Yet, you did share your experience with me as a reader. I want to have that kind of courage to share my story.

As I am preparing to travel to another country soon, your book reminded me that listening is the most important gift I can take with me. Everyone has a story and as we listen to others, the stories begin to intertwine into one story of humankind. I can’t explain what I felt reading, but by the end of the book I was different. I am inspired by your courage. Thank you for the gift of intertwining your story with mine.

Labor Day & Love

2011-09-10T12:00:00.008-04:00

We jammed packed the weekend full of trips and fun things to do. We spent 11 hours in the car in 2 days, spent time with my sister and my friend, and managed to fit in an 8 mile run.

More photos can be seen here.

Day 1: Lake Michigan Road Trip

Day 2: Hartwick Pines Road Trip

Return of Rev Chuck Walla?

We are crazy. We're sisters so it's allowed.

Stephen and his body double

Lumberjacks are sexy

Fall colors starting

Day 3: Hanging out with the Sokos

We had steaks and salad, lots of laughs, good conversation, and even great music.

Day 4: Run around Kensington

I woke up a bit cranky, but after braving the cool temps and taking a caffeine pill, the run was great. It felt much faster having someone there along side me, to talk to and push me when I wanted to stop.

Then... the weekend was already over and it was time for a much needed nap!

Thank you Stephen for coming to spend some time with me. And thanks Tiff for being willing to drive down to spend the day with us.

Dear Firefly,

2011-09-08T13:30:00.001-04:00

Can you believe it’s already been 2 years? Way back then did you ever think we’d still be friends? That we’d get the chance to meet and share life in person and not find it hard to transition? You were the first to really take hold of my heart in that cyber room. In you, I saw a light sometimes flickering in the darkness – you became my firefly. Many times I have seen the light dim till it was almost completely dark only to come back to full strength… lighting the way for others who have gotten lost in similar forests. Your light is your voice and strength in spite of weakness and I pray you never stop using it. I love you.

Anything Goes

2011-09-07T12:05:00.000-04:00

Sometimes when I think about you, I forget that we even dated. Those few months were the ones we didn’t make sense in a many year friendship. Had we stayed friends and not attempted to make more of it, I wonder if we would still be friends today. Not that those months were bad. I just think they made us aware of certain things about ourselves and that we made better friends than lovers. As I think back now, I realize so many things I missed and should have picked up on; things I should have asked you about and acknowledged, but perhaps was too caught up in myself or still too immature to really notice. I am sorry if you ever felt let down by that – wishing I had read between the lines. Would things be different for you if I had? There are things I wish I had been more open about to; maybe I would have learned to trust sooner. We may not have been good lovers, but you taught me so much about love.

Do I know you?

2011-09-06T16:05:00.000-04:00

We have never met and chances are will never even pass along the same path. But as I watched you running toward me, you reminded me of my friend and the journey she has been on and how proud I have been of her. I wonder what your story might be? How and why did you start running? Do those around you cheer you on and an encourage you? I wanted to shout and tell you to keep going, you were doing so good. But I figured that might make me seem a bit crazy, so I just did it on the inside. I want you to know that watching you encouraged me to keep going.

I dreamed a dream

2011-09-06T16:02:00.001-04:00

Dear dreams, I have created you, chased after you, and achieved some of you. Funny things you are dreams, you may look so sure and solid but turn out to be fragile and ever-changing. But you have kept me going forward many times, when the past beckoned me to turn back. As old dreams fade away, new dreams appear on the horizon. God willing, I will keep moving on towards your horizon… chasing… and achieving.

After I wrote this letter, I briefly considered writing a letter to the dreams that I have while sleeping. They are usually intense, detailed and bizarre. But I couldn't think of anything more to say to them than "Really!?!"

Two sweapeas in a pod

2011-09-06T16:01:00.002-04:00

I may not have liked you the day you were born, but I have loved you every day since, sweapea. Our memories are filled with wonder, silliness and much laughter and still continue today. It’s what I love most about us, that whenever we are together we go back to being “Fremont & Clyde.” I am so glad I got to see you this weekend. It did my heart good. I wish we lived closer so we could take road trips and just see each other more often. No matter what friends or man come into my life, you will always be my one and only sister.

Feels like camp

2011-09-06T16:00:00.000-04:00

I can’t really address you as ‘my parents’ anymore as it makes you sound like a unit. Ironically, even when you were married, it doesn’t seem like you functioned much like a unit. As I get older, things seem to be more settled and less tense and emotionally fraught. I’ve gotten used to holidays with ‘just us’ feeling less like the holidays I loved as a kid. Even though it never was, is or will be perfect, I am blessed to have two parents who love me, root for me, and allow me to be myself. As my parents, you did a good job working together to raise me.

A letter a day

2011-09-06T15:54:00.002-04:00

My friend is writing letters for each day of September. You can find the list and read her letters here.

I really liked the idea, as I like to write as well. I am not sure I have the dedication to write & post them all. I already had to play catch up on the first 6 days!

So... here we go...

My Josh-y, if only you had known I was alive perhaps we could have made beautiful music together. I have loved you since that episode of Ally McBeal when I knew I would marry you in a heartbeat. Crush… obsession… same thing, right? Although there was that blip in my admiration when you foolishly dated Katy Perry. I have held the flame as long as I can, but you have lost out. I can only pray that someday the regret of missing out on me won’t catch up to you.

Love Rains

2011-08-18T16:57:00.006-04:00

Sometimes in the most ordinary of reflective moments, divine understanding comes my way. Often it’s not a new idea but a new perspective that teaches me. Today I had a moment like that while talking about the word love.

We all give and receive love in different ways (i.e. Love Languages), but what about the part leading up to knowing you love someone? I think we are different there too.

Or maybe I’m just different. It wouldn’t be the first or last time that was said about me.

Let the rain fall…

For some, love comes like a spring rain: The sensation of drops landing on the skin, tingling and rejuvenating. It lands on the surface and is allowed to soak into the heart’s soil where it deepens and roots.

Hebrews 6:7 Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God.

It’s not like that for me, even if I wish it was more like that.

Let the rain fill…

For others, we are like an underground spring: Nothing at the surface is apparent for quite some time but the water is still there. As the rains come, the level of the spring gets higher until it breaks through the surface.

Song of Solomon 4:12 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.

Rained “on” or Rained “in”?

The most beautiful part of love is that is can be seen and experienced from so many angles and levels, each bringing something new to the image and experience, like the slightest twist of a kaleidoscope creates a new design.

“Hearts have colors
Don't we all know...
Inside is not a heart
But a kaleidoscope”
(Kaleidoscope Heart, Sara Barrielles)

God, who is Love and designer of our details, pours His love out equally on the rained “on” and the rained “in”.

Isaiah 58:11 The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.

PTP Update

2011-08-16T11:58:00.004-04:00

Paint Tia Pink Project Update

As of today with 45 days left the paint Tia project balance is $890.

This means...

I will be running in pink shoes

I will be wearing pink nailpolish

A few more dollars and I'll be getting a pink shirt

But...

You probably won't get to see me in a pink tutu with pink hair on Facebook...

... sorry mom

(is it too late to add a disclaimer that funds from JD and Debra don't count???)

Uncomfortable Faith

2011-08-13T09:13:00.002-04:00

Can someone actually be “so heavenly bound they are no earthly good?” In this particular instance this phrase was used to insinuate that another was so focused on God that she isn't doing anything good. I believe in a God who is in control of everything. He uses those with big faith and those with no-faith to work out his plan for this earth.

The following was a reponse I wrote to address the faith I saw in the person who was basically insulted. I believe that God showed up with a powerful message while I was writing. It is a message for me as well as for the church.

...............................................................................................................................................

People who forsake all cultural practices and live a life of unbounded faith make other people uncomfortable. It is out of that sense of being off-center that they make statements like the one made to you. The reason they feel off center is because they are. The western church primarily has so watered down and squeezed the Word of God into our culture that when we see lives that are so counter-culture it appears alien to the God in a box we know. The bible is absolutely opposite to everything we are about here. But upon accepting Christ we have that same Spirit in us, but for most its tamped down into something palatable to our own personalities and desires. When the living, breathing Spirit in someone encounters the Spirit in another who is not allowing it to breathe as freely – the choking feeling rises to the surface. We know something is off but it’s easier to dismiss the other person as crazy and too radical, as we push the Spirit back into it’s safe little corner. We call those people radical and think they will push unbelievers away by such outlandish living. I believe that attitude is what prevents the church from being more effective – if my life in Christ isn’t radically different then what’s the point?

You come along with choices and beliefs and faith and some people will want to crush it in you. They will want you to put your God back into a corner just like they have because then they will feel okay. They don’t want to feel the conviction that maybe there is more and they definitely don’t want to have to change or make more sacrifices then they’ve decided it’s okay to make. Perhaps these are the people whom Jesus will say, “Depart from me, I knew you not.” I think too many Christians are so earthly bound they are little eternal good.

Sometimes, you come along with choices and beliefs and faith and someone will crave what you seem to have. They will want to watch what you do and say to see what makes you different. Some will feel the Spirit and know they’ve been choking it and begin living with more faith and being more God-focused. We are the weapons of God – being used to divide the true from the imitation.

Summer Scenes

2011-08-06T17:00:00.009-04:00

FINALLY...

2011-07-30T10:10:00.002-04:00

A small spark of encouraging hope

This morning I ran 4.5 miles!!

Ok... truth is I mostly walked with some sections of jogging, but still it's the longest I've been able to go in MONTHS without significant pain in my knee.

And after the FRUSTRATING week I've had, I am so thankful for something GOOD.

Are you the doughnut or the hole?

2011-07-18T16:33:00.006-04:00

… and everybody's got a God-shaped hole.

Do they really?

When thinking about this, I thought about a doughnut. If I am the doughnut with a hole in the center that God is going to fill, that makes God smaller than me. That means I am surrounding and protecting God. And even might possibly mean that the size of God in me is limited by the amount of space he has to fill.

Would a perfect, holy God want to fill a void in the human heart?

Genesis 6:5 The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.

Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

He knows our hearts are filled with evil, caused by sin. God cannot dwell in the presence of sin. He tells us he will remove that heart and gives a brand new one. He doesn’t plug up a hole in our evil heart of stone – he’s not the doughnut hole. Instead, he invites us back into the fabric of eternity, back into the place where he created us.

But… if God is the doughnut, He is bigger and I am the smaller. He is the protector and the creator of my space. He remains unlimited and undivided.

God cut us from his own fabric and placed us on earth. He set eternity in our hearts to draw us back home.

We returned to the tapestry of all creation. Like a paper cutout of human-kind inside the framework of God.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

The heart of God has a you-shaped hole that only you can fill. Without you, there will always be an empty space.

Animal Attraction

2011-07-06T20:30:00.010-04:00

AKA: My wonderful 4th of July weekend.

At the beginning of the week, I got news that my boring-looking weekend was about to change as I would have a guest coming to visit.

This is Stephen

Day 1 – the Zoo
There is something about the zoo that brings out the child in me. Ok, I admit… it takes far less than the zoo to do that. But none-the-less it was a beautiful warm, but not too warm summer day to see the animals and capture photographic memories.

A young school boy informed me the otters 'were mating'
I just thought they were telling secrets

Look like a familar scene?

This is Stephen before he shaved

Hmmm.... is it more ethical for me to eat the scorpions or the crickets...

What you talkin' 'bout Willis?

Spa Day

I'm 'little'

These 2 waddled right up and struck a pose.

The scarlet ibis is my favorite bird. Identity crisis??

This one looks like it came from Jim Henson's studio

Hey, did you know there was a new muppet movie coming out this fall?

As usual – additional photos (the best ones!) can be seen over here.

Day 2 was too humid to do much of anything, except maybe suffer with allergies. We stayed in the AC for the day, talking, reading and resting.

No summer day is complete without a Slurpee.
I have a rep to protect.

Day 3 – What visit to Michigan could be complete without seeing Bronner’s and Frankenmuth? No, we didn’t have chicken dinner. (I know – but not my favorite, that’s all I’m saying) We did get ice cream and taffy :D

Gotta do the woman's work

After returning home, we walked to the beach until the mosquitoes drove us crazy and we were forced to walk back. Singing at the lake… amazing. Fireflies in a field at dusk… more amazing. Seeing a spectacular sunset to top off a wonderful weekend… awesome!

And Monday after an early drive to the airport .... I slept!

Alter-Ego

2011-07-06T20:06:00.003-04:00

Allow me to introduce you to my newly discovered alter-ego

Meet…

Reverend Chuck Walla.

Do you need a healing? Do you need prayer or the Spirit to whack you upside the head and knock you unconcious? Of course you do!

I’m Reverend Chuck Walla and I’m here for you. I be preaching from the book of Dollars and for a nominal fee you can receive a guilt-ridden sermon. For just a few dollars more, you’ll be on your knees in repentance.

Of course… if you do like you should and sacrifice all, you’ll get the best dang preaching and it won’t matter if you’re healed or not because you’ll have nothing left anyway.

Now I know, some of yous is skeptical. You say you never heard of the Book of Dollars before, but let me tell you brothers and sisters… you read it every day. And it’s about time I get some of it! Praise the Lord! Can I get an Amen!?! So come on down to the revival meetings – all this month.

(disclaimer: this is meant in good fun and humor and not meant to be a mockery of God, His Word, or his true messengers.)

Now… meet the real chuckwalla

A Summer Wedding

2011-06-25T21:08:00.009-04:00

The Paint Tia Pink Project is finally here!!

2011-06-18T16:52:00.000-04:00

With just a little over 5 months left until I leave for Ghana, there is still a long way to go in getting the school built. I'm still trusting God to come through...

It's no secret that I am not a fan of wearing pink or the "pink culture" that has taken over it seems. In an effort to make a sacrifice and show my dedication to this project, I am embarking on an ambitious fundraiser. And if you don't donate... I just don't have to wear pink :)

Here's the scoop -

I am running a half-marathon on Oct 2nd.

At certain dollar levels I will add pink to the ensemble I will run in. This will be for all funds submitted to Interlink, any monthly paypal donations, or any funds given directly to me from July 1st to Oct 1st.

$250 Pink on my shoes

$500 Pink nail polish

$1,000 Pink t-shirt

$2,000 Pink pants/shorts

$3,000 I will run the 13.1 miles in a pink tu-tu (Yes... you did read that right!!)

$4,000 I will dye my hair with pink streaks

$5000 I will create (finally) a Facebook page and I will post the pink photos

You can be a part of making history. Pink and Facebook all in one afternoon.

Should you all simply blow me away and raise over $5000 I will take comments as to what you might dare me to do.

So donate... send the link to your friends to donate.... Make my mom so happy to see me looking girly :)

Ways to donate:

Click on side bar link for one time paypal donatation or a monthly amount

Click here for Interlink tax dedictible donation info

I DARE YOU TO GET ME COMPLETLY PINKED-OUT

Alaskan Letdown

2011-06-16T16:17:00.025-04:00

So, I had a unique opportunity to visit Alaska for very cheap. I guess the saying's true... you get what you pay for. Everything else aside, Alaska is BEAUTIFUL and majestic in many ways. That alone made every minute worth it. So... then... the following is a plethora of photos :D

But if you only want to see a best-of sampling go here.

Enjoy!!

The Mysterious Mushroom

2011-06-04T19:27:00.005-04:00

This morning I had plans to do some major cleaning around the apartment. I started in the living room picking things up when I noticed a yellow "blob" in my plant. (which has now lived for 7 months!!! It's a record) I thought to myself, "How did a piece of lemon peel get into the plant?" I don't even know the last time I bought a lemon.

I picked up the plant and there was a pretty yellow mushroom. In my plant. JD asked me if it was a smurf mushroom... it just might be.

Ever been to Covent Garden?

2011-05-30T10:49:00.004-04:00

I felt like I was there this weekend....

Detroit's Eastern Market

I don't know what kind of flowers those are, but they are cool looking. I had wanted to take more photos, but the crowds of people made it impossible to do so without getting run over.

Happy Memorial Day! And many thanks to all who serve our country both away and at home. You are greatly appreciated and may God protect you.

Ghana Update - May

2011-05-19T19:20:00.002-04:00

Our application with a non-profit organization Interlink Ministries has finally been approved. This will allow donors to make tax-deductible donations to a non-profit 501(c)3 organization. (Don't forget to check if your company has a fund matching program!)

If you've been waiting to donate... Here is the information for YOU

Make checks payable to Interlink Ministries and note Ghana Orphans Project in the memo line. Mail to:
Interlink Ministries
P.O. Box 460
Apple Creek, OH 44606.

Support letters will be going out to friends and family. Please pray that these letters will find favor and the funds will start coming in again.

If you haven't seen it, I was able to get an article about the trip in my local paper. You can read it here.

We have a LONG, LONG WAY to go and the months seem to be flying by.

Stay tuned.... the Paint Tia Pink Project information is coming soon and will officially begin July 1st. I know that's what most of you are waiting for ;)

Some Changes are Afoot

2011-05-17T09:17:00.002-04:00

Friends... may I ask you to please pray for me. There are potential major changes happening in my life and in the past I have not reacted well to these types of changes, even when I know they are ultimately for the best and betterment of my life. These are good changes, but they are still hard. On some level I need to go through this and figure it out on my own and trust myself to choose wisely, but I can ask you to pray.

Pray for wisdom, for healthy choices, that I would clearly hear God's voice and that the enemy would be silenced and for my time to be used wisely.

And while you are praying, if you could also pray for my friend. Her marriage is at a crucial turning point and God has already been evidently working.

Thank you friends.

Outrun - The First 10K

2011-05-13T13:12:00.003-04:00

Ok... so I'm trying this again, since Blogger issues ate the post I did yesterday.

My bestest friend in the whole world is running her first 10k tomorrow morning. I was blessed to run her 1st 5k with her a couple months ago. Lately she's been a little discouraged.

This race is important for several reasons, but one is her time will help us raise money for the school in Ghana. We all know that sometimes just a simple word of encouragement gives us the push we need to get going again.

So... perhaps you can take a minute and hop over here to wish her well for tomorrow. It's a simple way to add a smile to someone's day. Both hers and mine.

UPDATE: Even though there were no comments left, 2 of her friends showed up to cheer her on. Unfortunately, her body did not cooperate and she was unable to finish the full 10k and only completed 5k. She is undetered and will try a 10k again soon. Hopefully then, we can really encourage her.

Back to North Carolina

2011-05-10T18:16:00.009-04:00

I had a wonderful opportunity to get back to North Carolina this spring to visit some dear friends. I started my trip visiting my Firefly. We enjoyed a bowling alley birthday party and a realatively peaceful sleep over with several young girls. These are the cuties I got to laugh and cuddle with... (I got to do those with Courtney too, but she probably wouldn't be assumed at the photo I had of her bowling)

From there I drove a little north to see long time friends, the Fords. I was loooking forward to continuing to rebuild relationships with them. I wanted to take some time and do something special with the kids. And even had the opportunity to do something special for Julie as well.

On a particularly warm day, Abi and I went for a walk through the neighborhood, stopping at the playground for some silly photos.

For our special time, Abi suggested we go to the park and watch the sunset - perhaps finding some dandelions to make wishes on. She picked this because it's a memory we shared here in Michigan before she moved. We got some snacks and kicked a ball around, having a wonderful evening just the two of us.

my favorite photo of the night

our shadows lengthening

making our wishes - for time to stretch

Aaron is 17 now, not typically the age that wants to hang out with fairly "uncool" adults. He and I have always had a good relationship and he's like a younger brother. One thing we have in common now is music. After asking Abi to write some lyrics, Aaron and I set down to put some music to it.

The easiest way to speak to a skinny teenager - offer to take him to lunch. After a great lunch with some great conversation, we decided to go play a round of putt-putt golf (or mini golf for the rest of you). We finished just as the rain started. We finished off the afternoon by spending some time in Sam Ash and then getting a little lost on the way home. But it was a little more time together.

I didn't do!! I'm innocent (well....)

The trip ended with a very special night at a local coffeehouse hosting it's Friday night open-mic night. Aaron and some friends put together a band and performed several songs. Julie and Abi continued to work on getting me up there to play.

3 musketeers

Aaron on bass

Finally after much coercion...

What finally convinced me to do it? My friend Julie simply sharing her heart that it would make her night for me to be brave and sing. I wanted to give her that gift, and in the end it gave her the gift of bravery to get up there shortly after and sing with some people she met just that night. It wasn't a perfect performance, but I know that wasn't what mattered in the end.

I hope it isn't too long before I can get back to visit again, creating more memories and stories for a lifetime.

For a few more artsy photos check here

Power to the Peeps

2011-04-26T19:19:00.004-04:00

The last few Easters.... I have been deprived and not happy about it.

The peeps drought has ended.

And blue to boot!! Thank you mom.

Yippee for empty, delicious, calories. Now if they would hurry up and get stale.

*** BIG SMILES ***
:D

Hope Giver = Life Changer

2011-04-21T09:10:00.003-04:00

I’ll be honest; I’ve been a little discouraged.

My friend and I started with a dream to work in Africa together. Then the dream became huge as we decided to try and build a school for a place we have come to feel incredible urgency and passion about, more and more so as we continue to research the issue of child trafficking. I’ll admit it – I am a skeptic at heart. While I know nothing is impossible with God, too often human reason clouds my faith. When JD mentioned raising $30,000 for the school, I thought she was crazy. (I already knew she was crazy – this was just another bit of evidence) I thought I would be doing great to raise $2,000 feeling that number already stretched my faith and the resources I had available. I remember praying that night, “God, help JD raise $28,000.”

Then slowly, words came together and ideas began to form of ways to raise this money and I began to believe in the miracle. This might just happen and I can be a part of it. Blog post were written and emails sent to every person I knew or maybe even just vaguely knew. The way I figured it should work would be a big response initially and then a lull in the middle months with a big push at the end. I even talked about the project at doctor’s appointments. Several days after one appointment I received a thank you card in the mail – from a doctor I’d been seeing for years – and was frustrated about the money spent on a stupid card I threw away that could be used for something better. The initial response left me feeling a little deflated. I’ve had some very wonderful people donate or commit to donate and I’m elated to have their support and involvement. But we need more – a lot more.

I began to doubt.

Last weekend I stumbled upon another heartbreaking situation about a young boy who desperately needed to be adopted. His picture so unlike those of the children in Africa radiated with his hope of believing someone would come for him – that he would be chosen despite being passed over for others again and again. This boy while living in eastern Europe, this blonde haired blued-eyed boy might not look like the African children, he does have something in common with many of them. He is HIV+. While reading about this child, I came to learn something that emotionally crushed me and defied all my sense of logic.

Apparently, in many Eastern European countries (probably elsewhere as well) the children in orphanages with any sort of special needs, regardless of their health, literally age out of the “system” around age 6. They are taken from the orphanage and sent to mental institutions of various kinds and left there for the rest of their lives. Their location is not disclosed. They can no longer be adopted. Perhaps one of the saddest statistics I have ever read was that an estimate 50-80 percent of these children will die within the first year. The message: Your time for hope has run out. The thought of this little boy’s hope for a family being ripped away any day now simply breaks my heart in ways I cannot explain even to you.

I am not a mom, so from a biological sense I have never experienced that “connection.” But I desire to be one. Most days, it’s simply a dream tucked away in a special place of my heart, an empty spot I walk around with but have gotten used to. Every now and again something will poke that spot and it inflames and swells. This would be one of those times. I feel the urgency to do something about it, anything… but what. I don’t have thousands or even hundreds who read this blog. I don’t even know all that many people when it comes down to it. Is this about adoption? Should I be actively pursuing that, even as a struggling single? I have the room, I can sacrifice to come up with the finances, and I’m sure I have enough love, but is that what God is saying right now? I was confused and frustrated and desperate to understand why God would save some and not others. Trying to understand how these abandoned children could ever know there is a God who is Love and Hope living in a completely hopeless situation. I still don’t have the answers, but I have a new perspective.

I can’t give this boy a home right now but I can pray that his family to step forward and not let fear and doubt hold them back. Even more than that, I can hold onto hope for these kids and all the millions of orphans out there. For me and you, even situations and dreams that seem impossible and hopeless are actually so full of hope and possibility it seems silly to be discouraged.

I know there are causes and companies pulling on our purse strings constantly and from every direction it seems and sometimes it’s just easier to not give at all, but the truth is money that changes a life will be stretched farther than anything else you can use it for. I know God will help us build this school even if it isn’t raised before the fall. I will keep going until it is. It doesn’t matter to me if you donate to this project, but find something you feel passionate about and makes a difference in someone’s life and do something. Give $10. I know 99.9% of can do at least that. Volunteer some time or sponsor a child.

Give hope to someone before their time for hope runs out.

In less than 200 days I will be flying to Ghana to meet kids who have been given redemption by others who have felt like me. I will also meet children who are in desperate need of hope and love. Even though I haven’t met them yet, these are my children - The ones God has given me responsibility for even if just for a short time. I will do everything I can to redeem them.

I will give them hope before time runs out.

Will you be a hope giver?

I was about due for some X-rays

2011-04-15T14:01:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I had an appointment with a sports med doctor about an issue I've been having with my knee for about a month now.

There is something to be said for being a unique person and not fitting "the mold." But when I go to the doctor and more often than not they look at me and say, "I dunno... it doesn't really fit anything..." it's not what I want to hear.

The possibilties seem to be a stress fracture, which seems potentially likely based on the fact that I am the type of person who ran a 5k despite the pain and injury. Or possibly it could be a foreign body such as a loose piece of cartilege. Or it could be neither and we may never know what it is or was.

The course of action was to send me for some x-rays (despite the fact that a stress fracture may not show up) and to start a few weeks of therapy. Which I assume is going to be like having a personal trainer tell me what to do but only focused on one body part.... but my knee is pretty lean already. I'd rather be concentrating on other body parts, if ya know what I mean.

So, I take myself over for some x-rays. The only good part about all this is that means it's a little longer before I have to go into work. The cute male x-ray technician takes me back and asks if I did something to my knee. Well, actually I just wanted to meet you so I had the Dr. write me an x-ray script and I didn't want be in the gown so we picked my knee... cause my legs are pretty hot (some guy in a Canadian office said so). Of course that's just how I answered in my head - but maybe the x-rays would have been a lot more interesting had I said that.

As I was lying there staring up into blinding lights, I was trying to think back to the last and only other time I think I ever had x-rays and I think I was under the age of 10. At least 25 years.

So for now... I've been forbidden to run or kickbox. My choices are basically the elliptical, bike, or swim. The one thing the doc was confident on was this will heal and I will be running again soon.

Who ever would have thought I'd be anxious to get running. Go figure!

Ghana - April Update

2011-04-07T13:53:00.003-04:00

I will be writing an update post each month, sharing with you what's been happening, opportunities coming up, and also any prayer requests we have along the way.

It was suggested to us to set up an option to make small monthly donations over the next 7 months to help with the school, school supplies and our other expenses. We loved your suggestions, and have created a monthly donation option via Paypal. As of today, there are 7 months left until the trip, so this option will give you the choice of donating $5, $10 or $20 monthly for 7 months. If you'd like to subscribe for a different amount, let us know, and we will add it to the options.If this is something you can do- here you go...

Gift Options

(once you exit the subscription page you will be redirected to the original post over on my friend JD's blog - so don't get worried)

Also, we are so excited to have already raised over 1% in just over two weeks. And we are fast approaching the 2% mark. There is still a long way to go, but this gives us great hope that this will be successful. Thank you to those of you who have donated already or helped pass the word on!

Finally, please keep us in your prayers - not only for our efforts to be blessed and successful, but also for our health and personal finances over the coming months.

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 1 John 3:21-23 (New International Version, ©2011)